Always
by envyme13
Summary: Sequel to Think Twice. After the past events a little over a month ago, Dean and Sam's relationship has hit rock bottom. Not only are they now both heartbroken and distrustful of each other,they still need to save the world! R&R.
1. Prologue

**Title**- Always(Think Twice Sequel, Please read first) *This story is a better read, but to fully understand it, and it's background you need to read the first part.

**Genres**-Romance, Adventure, and the bond of brotherhood.

**Summary-** After the disturbing events a little over a month ago, Dean and Sam's relationship has hit rock bottom. Not only are they now both heartbroken and distrustful of each other, they have to still continue to work together in hopes of saving the world from the Apocalypse. On their quest to search for answers and Lucifer's next big plan, will they find more then they bargained for? Can their hearts take it?

**Characters**- Dean, Sam, Lucifer, Some O/C's

**Rated**- _Mature._ Adult language and Humor. Violence and possibly Sexual Content.

**_-Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Supernatural characters. Just my o/c's._**

*****Visit website on profile for further details on story**!*_  
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**Prologue**

_This Romeo is bleedin' But you can't see his blood it's nothing but some feelings that this old dog kicked up. It's been rainin' since you left me, Now I'm drownin' in the flood._

Cold air filled the room, the plain white walls gave the place a feeling of hopeless despair. There was no color anywhere, even the furniture was completely white. A large bed stood in the middle of the room surrounded by a white couch, dresser, bookcase, and two night tables. All the furniture was empty. White everywhere, except in the middle of the bed.

I stared in absolute horror at the sight before me. Dark long hair was sprawled on top a white pillow connected to an exquisite face that was frozen, staring up at the white ceiling. The woman was beautifully laid out in a white silk dress that was completely drenched in blood. Both her hands were crossed over her heart, her broken heart. It had been pierced, literally.

"Wonderful sight, Isn't it?" A hellish voice asked me. My fists clenched in hatred and anger as I turned to see a familiar face. Tattooed, rocked out evil son of a bitch.

"This is all your fault!" My voice trembled with fury- How could he have gotten away with this?

A sly smirk spread across the devil's decaying face. "No Dean, this is all your fault." Lucifer's hands rose in display of the hopeless white room, his eyes then gleamed a reddish color and he vanished.

In awe, I watched as the devil disappeared before my eyes then turned to the corpse on the bed. She was magnificent. My hands reached for her hair, it was still silky smooth.

Pain and a sharp pang of undeniable sadness disturbed my entire being-It shook me to the core and it wasn't long until the tears swelled up my eyes. Through my tears I stared into her opened eyes- Forever Blue and Forever Frozen.


	2. Always

_Now your pictures that you left behind are just memories of a different life. Some that made us laugh, some made us cry..One that made you have to say goodbye._ -Always

**Dean**-

When I awoke that morning my hands were trembling and my face was completely drenched in cold sweat. Nightmares, they had returned- It had been weeks since my last one. The lack had allowed me to sleep _somewhat _peacefully. If it wasn't nightmares..she _always_ seemed to haunt my dreams. Somehow the nightmares were better, the dreams where she and I ended up living happily ever after together and alive, were unrealistic-they messed with my head more than the reality of the situation.

Love was such a confusing thing to me, I couldn't understand what the point in me ever loving anyone was if in the end, I was destined to lose them. This curse, wasn't only mine, my brother had to suffer it as well. Elena was dead- I _needed_ to forget her.

How could I though- the folded napkin I had found in the diner was still tucked away in my jacket pocket and it went with my everywhere?

Dean, stop being so masochistic, my inner voice would always say when I took it out to stare at it, thinking it was some element from her. Unfortunately, those thoughts didn't help me, they screwed with my head giving me false hope that she was still out there somewhere, _alive_. Maybe the devil had decided to give her another opportunity, chances of that were slim. Evil didn't give anyone second chances, and Elena was just a pawn in his scheme. Some couple from before Sam and I had walked into that diner could have sat at that table and written those three words, I wasn't sure I could ever believe in again.

Asking Sam, would be the easiest way to figure out if Elena had written the damn thing or not, but I refused to ask, because doing so would re-tear my brother's heart out, and possibly crush me as well. I did not want to lose hope. Besides, even remotely bringing Elena up was like whacking my brother over the head with a sledge hammer, it was painful and gave him a headache.

"Hey," Sam walked in with a brown paper bag in hand, breaking me away from my thoughts.

We were staying at a dead end roach motel in some part of Virginia. Our destination was Jersey, where we hoped to gather information about the Dark Angel's future plans, and where I hoped to find out why everything had played out the way it did a little over a month ago.

Those blue eyes… and they she had looked at me right before she had pierced her heart still tortured me, as well as the look my brother had given me when he ran up and found his girlfriend's body laying in a pool of blood. Sammy had looked at me with a mix of anguish and blame.

Shit. "Hey," Forcing myself away from my torturous thoughts, I finally replied.

"I got you a bacon and cheese omelet," Sam said to me as he placed the bag down on my night table.

We barely ate together anymore, I didn't blame him. How could I? The sin I had committed earned me another fifty years in hell, I had betrayed my little brother in the worst possible way ever. If I were him, I would hate me as well. Had I ever found out that fucker stuck his cock inside my girlfriend's vagina, _and_ fell in love with her, he'd be dead or Michael would have my body. Hell, If I we're Sammy I couldn't even be in the same room as me. Yes, I can say I hate myself, but at the moment the only thing I wanted was vengeance and answers.

"Thanks," As I mumbled, he looked at me nonchalantly and shrugged.

Awkwardly, I ate as he watched me silently with an expression on his face that said he wished I would choke. Another reason I couldn't sleep completely right, I feared waking up with my brother laying over me and a knife to my neck.

Our relationship was always rocky, especially after that demon bitch and the whole I have demon blood inside of me ordeal. We went through episodes of bipolar disorder, and this episode wasn't a very good one, ever since _this_ woman got in between us we haven't been able to get out of the depressive faze.

Sammy, and I were all each other had, he was my little brother, and I loved him unconditionally, which is why no matter what was going on between us I could never leave his side.

After I finished eating my breakfast, secretly wondering if he had poisoned it, I turned to him. "I'm sorry Sam," My voice shaking as I addressed him, as usual lately.

"Save it," The reply was always the same.

This was literally hell on earth, the Devil hadn't managed to kill me, but he had sure made me feel dead. My life was now complete shit, not that it was ever roses and dandies.

Once again, or should I say as usual, my life was now purely based on revenge. Revenge for Lucifer's plan and sending Elena our way, and revenge for her death. Not only did I now have to try and save the world with a brother that despised me, but I had to live with the consequences of a broken heart. Not just mine, but his as well..

Sam was dealing with his grief in a different way then I was. No more drinking, partying or pretty broads for me-As soon as I dropped all of that though, Sam seemed to pick it right up.

Every time we would stop after a case, he'd go off and find the local bar or club dragging me with him to drive his drunk ass back to the motel. He was getting good with the ladies, and picked up a different chick every night, bringing her back with us.

Flashback:

_The Impala was the safest place to be while my brother fucked the life out of some redhead in our motel room. I was becoming frustrated, her screams could be heard through the parking lot. What the hell is going on? My brother isn't that man in there, who ever he is.. doesnt care about anyone anymore. He used to say sex was important and a symbol of love, now it was nothing but a way to let his anger and tension out. I cant believe I'm sitting here, this is the third night in a row I've had to sleep in the car.._

_Sam came out in his boxers and sat next to me in the car. He was still very drunk._

_I didnt say anything, If I had he wouldnt have responded. It was as if I didnt exist anymore._

_"You want to have a go at her now?" There was venom in his voice._

_I gulped, I knew he was referring to what had happened with Elena and shook my head._

_He shrugged. "The slut said she would have you next. So I guess I'm getting kicked out of my own nest once again.."_

I didn't do anything with the redhead, instead I told her kindly to leave and went to bed. Sam had stayed in the car that night, thinking possibly.. or passed out drunk, I didnt know. Thankfully from then on, he checked into a different room, at least for the couple of hours he needed to. It would've been the smartest thing to just stay in his own room the entire time, and I didn't know why he still didn't. Maybe he did still care about his big brother a little?

God knew what I would do alone? Grieving was easier with company, even if we kept it to ourselves- I know he still loved her, even now knowing the betrayal. Because I know I sure as hell do and always will... Shit

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_**This chapter has been added to AND is finished!**** *Review for a small preview of next chapter and an update asap!**_


	3. Colorblind

_I am covered in skin. No one gets to come in. Pull me out from inside. I am folded. And unfolded. And unfolding, I am colorblind. Coffee black and egg white..._ -Colorblind

**Unknown-**

This house was magnificent, elegant, and classical. Nothing about it was tacky. Rich cream marble floored the entire space, all of the furniture was imported Italian wood, and the Greek architecture was magnificent.

Everything screamed sophistication. My husband had done a glorious job at picking out our new home. Even my brothers seemed please.

"I love it Penelope!" Jace, my youngest brother exclaimed as he looked around the gigantic foyer. Today, was his seventeenth birthday, this new home and new start was a great gift to him.

"It is quite lovely isn't it?" My husband said coming up behind me and placing a tattooed arm over my shoulders.

"Quite, brother-in-law," My other brother, the middle child, Jordan replied as his huge blue eyes reflected off the mirror he was staring into.

Finally, happiness. After the death of my parents I didn't think I could survive and raise my brothers on my own, and then I met _him_. Most of all the events were like a haze or blur to me, just two weeks ago my husband and I were married after dating a little under a year. He came around right after the tragic accident that broke our family apart, and saved us. He was a wonderful man, and an amazing lover.

"I love you," I whispered to Lucian.

He smiled slyly. "I love you too." Then he turned to all of us. "Welcome home!"

Jace and Jordan ran up the long circular staircase to find their bedrooms.

Lucian escorted me to our master, it was located on the first floor. Other than the cream colored marble and wood furniture, our bedroom's theme was red silk.

With my body scrawled across the canopy bed I turned and faced Lucian who lay beside me. He looked at me hungrily.

"Are you happy?" He asked as if he didn't see that I was.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

A small glint of red sparked his eyes quickly, then faded. It must have been the reflection of all the red in our room.

"Sometimes I worry. That's all." He caressed my neck with his left hand, his wedding ring was dazzling and my blue eyes reflected against it.

I kissed his right arm, it was scarred from a motorcycle accident, but he had managed to cover most of it up with tattoos, like his other arm. The tattoos didn't bother me, I found them to be beautiful.

Slowly he peeled off my blouse as I unbuckled his pants. He enjoyed it when we took our time, he had said to her once that being tortured in that matter was the sexiest thing.

My lips found his and I tormented him with my tongue, he pulled me closer anxiously.

Our breathing was already becoming uneven, as my hand caressed his completely erect manhood and I watched as his eyes danced reddishly. Again what seemed like the reflection of our bedroom.

His arm traced my body until he reached my head, he pulled my hair roughly, making me wince. This was a surprise, he was in a hurry.

That night was the first night our lovemaking was rough and fast.

After we were finished, I laid my head on top of his naked chest as he slept soundly, and began to drift away in my thoughts, there was sure to be bruises already forming on my wrists. I never thought he would've been the type of man to like things that way. Still we were perfect, this was like heaven and Lucian was an angel. Nothing could go wrong.

But there was this faint feeling, that something wasn't right… or what it seemed.

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**This was a tease… I know… But isn't it easy to guess who "Penelope" is. Soo many, unanswered questions.. So much mystery. **

_**Review**_** and I'll send you a preview of next chapter, plus you'll make the updating sooo much faster!**


	4. Ramble on

_Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear. How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air. T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair. But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her...yeah_.- Ramble On

**Dean-**

We'd been in Virginia two weeks now, and I had not had a single nightmare since. Bobby was meeting up with us sometime today. Sam and I were thankful someone would be around to ease the tension. Besides, Bobby had some information for me. Hopefully we could get away from Sam and discuss it.

"I'm going out to the library. Need anything?"

"I'm good." There was a hint of excitement behind my voice. Was the old Sammy returning?

No less than an hour later there was a knock on the motel room door- It was Bobby wearing a very disconcerted facial expression.

"You okay Bobby?" I asked worried. Such a ridiculous question, no one was okay. The apocalypse was near for god-sakes. And inside I was fucking dying.

Bobby started looking around the room. "Is Sam around?"

I shook my head in response. Whatever information he had must have been important.

He sat on a chair wearily as I closed the door. The motel room was small, two twin sized beds, a small round table with two chairs, two night tables, and a tiny tv. Another piece of shit, I wondered sometimes what it would be like to have a normal life.

Sitting across from Bobby, he looked at me seriously. "I found information on the girl. It wasn't hard."

Excitedly, my brows raised and I listened intently. Anything he had on Elena was important to me. Even though Bobby knew of what had occurred in the past he didn't hold it against me, nor did he take sides.

"Southern belle that girl was. Came from a wealthy family down in Memphis. About a year and a half ago her parents got killed in some type of freak accident. No one knows the cause."

Freak accident? "You think it was _him_?" I asked and almost shuddered at the thought of _him_.

The motel door opened and Sam walked in, I gulped. "Definitely," he said to Bobby and I. He was probably eavesdropping through the door.

Sammy sat across from us on his bed and Bobby looked at me questioningly. Should we change the subject?

"Go on," my brother persuaded Bobby. My eyes diverted away from Sam, this was awkward.

Bobby coughed nervously and continued, "I think it was because after that, their entire estate was burned down."

Sam stood up, I didn't know if he was looking at me or not because I refused to meet his gaze.

"Not just that Elena and her two younger brother's disappeared without a trace. No bodies are ever discovered. So no one knows if they're even alive." Except for us, I thought. And there was my brother the super nerd who knew everything. He was back or maybe he was just pretending to have been changed.

"What did she say to you before the demon took her Dean?" Bobby asked alluding to that dreadful night Elena tried to kill him- After they had just made loved. A small shuffle came from the direction towards where Sam was standing, I refused to see what expression he beheld.

"She told me she was doing this for her family." My eyes quickly wandered to Sam, he looked pained and I looked away from him.

He didn't know if that was the night I had slept with her, he only knew I had and it was easy to imagine it being that night. If only he knew it wasn't the only night Lena and I had succumbed to our forbidden desires. The devil had placed the fruit right in front of me, and I had played Eve.

A small rustle by the bed told me Sam had sat back down and I imagined he was looking away from me. I was right, he was staring out the window not facing Bobby or me.

"Her family most-likely meaning her brother's," Bobby asserted.

"We have to find out if he still has them," Sam spoke valiantly still looking away from us. A horrible bolt of pain hit me hard, it was like he had just slapped me in the face. More proof on how he was still in love with Elena. Even if she had betrayed him, he wanted to make sure she hadn't done it for nothing.

"He had one. I know that for sure," I mumbled looking up at the ceiling feeling Sam's gaze finally bore into me.

"How old did he look?" It was Sam asking, I looked towards him and the agony I saw in his eyes made me wince.

"I saw a picture.. In her room of them.." His face flickered some anger on that statement. "I think it was the oldest brother. The other one didn't look more than 18."

We were now staring at each other. He didn't reply, and no one said a word.

Until finally, Bobby stirred on his chair feeling awkward and stood up. "Well if he has one of the brother's the second one shouldn't be too far off. And well if the kid is dead, we can save one."

Both Sam and I nodded in agreement with Bobby and at the same time we both said, "New Jersey."

That night, Sam went out. Bobby and I stayed in the motel talking.

"You have both been through a lot. Your brother will forgive you one day.." He tried to assure me.

I was looking down at my precious napkin, thinking of her and pretending to watch Dr. Sexy on TV. Bobby was at the round table on Sam's laptop doing research or something.

"I wouldn't forgive him." I replied truthfully. Knowing the way I loved Elena I hoped Bobby understood.

He did sort of, "He loves you Dean. You're his brother. And you wouldn't stop loving Sam if he did that to you." Weird thing about love was it was a tricky thing.

That was true, Sammy was my baby brother but loving someone doesn't necessarily mean you always have to forgive them.. If Elena were alive, I'm not sure I could ever forgive her. No matter what though, I needed to find her brother's and save them. And I needed to confront Lucifer. I want to know why? … I wanted a grave to mourn to as well.. I had to keep searching and I needed answers.

The motel room door swung open, and in walked Sam with a silly childlike expression on his face. Great, he was drunk..

"Hey big bro! Bobby bear! Look who I found!" He exclaimed as a female walked in behind him.

Nervously, I pocketed my napkin and my jaw dropped in bewilderment at who he was with.

"Sandra?"

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